At the moment it feels like I'm collapsing in grief and there is not a moment where I can just pause and breathe. Being outdoors, surrounded by nature, always brings me to the centre of myself: keeps me grounded. That is how I always felt when I took my dog out for a walk in the mornings. That's until recently when I had to let him go by taking him to the vets and putting him to sleep. That's by far the hardest decision I've had to deal with.
Art for me is everything: Its how I express myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my view of the world. I felt so shy and anxious when I was in high school, but art for me felt like I had a way of reaching people and connecting to people and me saying I'll do art my way and the way I want. It has helped me deal with the loss of loved ones over the years or helped me cope with my anxieties and days when I feel depressed. 2020 was a very hard year as I lost my beloved grandad from a sudden heart attack. I wanted to be the strong person for everyone else whilst they grieved for him, so I kept my emotions in check for months.
I tried to do everything I could to keep it together and support everyone. I couldn't even pick up a pencil and draw, which I couldn't understand because my grandad and nan were always encouraging me to continue to do art and practice. My grandad wanted me to make a business out of it and sell my art because he believed in me so much. But one day I just picked a pencil up and wanted to make art again. It's been very therapeutic for me more and more lately. Just exploring the difference art styles and mediums and going out of my comfort zone to create art that I want to. I want to change how people think, especially about wildlife and animals. Conservation has inspired me for a few years now and more and more. I can get so depressed some days and then I do art and create what I think we should be doing for our natural mind. People keep forgetting mental health and nature are all linked. Being in nature has a great impact on us and so does art.
